Fear cannot see love
Fear cannot feel love
Fear cannot give love
Fear cannot receive love
Because fear cannot receive what it does not see, feel or give
Fear is the absence of love; absolutely.
A close personal friend and one I have mentored for years has had Hepatitis C (Hep-C) for some time, 15 years that I have known and at least that long before, 30 years or more I suppose. The last several years he’d experienced symptoms from tiredness to near exhaustion - cloudy thinking, aching joints and muscles. Overall though, not that bad.
He’d seen many doctors, been through two liver biopsies, taken the treatment of interferon, a type of chemotherapy, which he actually handled well. None of the treatments have slowed the disease. Years ago, when he first discovered he had the disease, there was no scarring or real damage, but slowly through the years it progressed into cirrhosis and the further symptoms that come with that.
His wife of 20 years has been through all of this with him - every bit since he first discovered he had the disease. During this same time period, he has experienced business success, status in the community, and an upwardly mobile economic lifestyle. He lives in a home with a view, has cars paid for, the best food and vacations - real prosperity and success from a material world point of view.
In our many discussions, he often expressed his worries to me: “The disease threatens our nest-egg, our retirement and my business.” Looking through the shades of his own fear he could see what he perceived to be the real fear from his wife - the fear of losing her husband, losing her nest egg – insecurity and on and on. This made for more fear. When he looked inside himself and saw fear, he in-turn looked outward to his wife and saw fear. What would they do if he did get sick? Being a seeker for many years he intuitively knew he needed to seek spiritual advice.
When we prayed together, it was clear. Fear blocks us from the only thing that sustains and feeds the soul and allows us to live in the sunlight of the Spirit - to walk on the sunny side of life. Fear can be so crippling that it renders the victim useless to others, even those we love with all our might. Once useless, we are overcome with a sense of doom, failure and weakness. Overcome, we have no choice but to place the mask over our face and do our best to project the false self. No wonder we are so tired, full of aches and pain and foggy-minded. What happens if the wind catches our veil and others witness that we are wearing a mask? God forbid we experience the nightmare of the mask coming off for all to see our fear-ridden selves.
He went to see a mentor we both truly love and respect. As always, our spiritual mentor did what he always so lovingly does —he listened. He listened to his explanation of how his wife was in fear of losing him and their finances. He was patient while listening to the rantings of a fear-filled monkey and then in the absence of fear he said three short words. “She loves you!” The words were heavily weighted with truth. Because he had chosen fear as his guide, he could not see how much further this went than monetary worries. Because he was coming from fear himself he saw fear in his wife when what she was experiencing was love!
Fear cannot see love!
That day when our mentor showed my friend that he was coming from a place a fear rather than love, I, too, walked away changed and thought about situations in my own life where I was blinded and could not to see love. When I am in fear of what others think - I cannot see the love they have for me. I am in fear - I see judgement where there is love.
I have been fortunate in my business life. Fortunate not only in monetary terms but fortunate in friendship and respect and a true love from my co-workers. Being in the commercial fishing industry and directing ships and crews operating out of Dutch Harbor, Alaska, I have worked with some of the toughest, driven and extreme workers anywhere in the world—men and women who risk everything for the chance at a big payday. Men and women that love the adrenaline-fueled raw excitement.
I worked 17 years for the same company, advancing through the ranks and becoming the company’s general manager. There were many times when I was consumed by self and I would question my own worthiness for the position. Was I strong enough, was I smart enough, was I educated enough? What if someone found out I never finished high school? Another facet of fear-based, false self, victimization. In other words, a delusion, a victim of my own wrong-thinking. It was in those times that I felt the most judged. I became convinced that the more than 100 people I managed thought I didn’t know what I was doing. They certainly must be talking between themselves. I would react by putting up a stronger persona of self-assurance but deep down inside I believed the lie that the ego had laid out for me that I was a fraud.
The truth on the other hand was I had gotten to where I was because I was asked to step up. I knew that God was all-knowing and I could rely on the one who had all answers. I have heard the saying before that “God is not just intelligent, God is intelligence itself.” That is and always will be the truth.
When I made the decision to leave the company I had much to consider. I was moving to head up an industry organization where I knew I would have more impact and do better for the environment, the world of sustainably managed fisheries and stewardship of our God-given resources. I let the owners and the employees know my plans, Slowly one-by-one at first, then by word-of-mouth and finally by a heartfelt email. Their reaction was to throw a party for me! At the party, several folks got up and spoke and the word love was mentioned many times. One of the hard-core chief engineers, a veteran of many a battle in the Bering Sea, Alaska, spoke and the old boy cried like a baby about how much he loved working for me and how much he would miss me. This was the truth. They loved me. I loved them but in those moments of fear through the years I could not see what was right in front of me.
Fear cannot see love
Fear cannot feel love
Fear cannot give love
Fear cannot receive love
Because fear cannot receive what it does not see, feel or give
Fear is the absence of love; absolutely.
Bob Haglund says
Thanks for that insight , as I struggle with my own fear and mask once again I’m reminded of the source of my problems
Kenny Down says
Bob,
Thank you for sharing with the community your kind thoughts and beautiful input for the community. Thank you!
Shannon says
Soo true!! Thank you for the reminder!! Again, I’m lifted by your words.